“I was never going to go if I was waiting for someone to come with me” – Laura.
It’s time again soon for me to plan and move to a different city and I already started fearing a new life and missing my friends. And I have been reminiscing.
Every time I move, I lose my friends and some of them are really close. It’s hard to stay away from family too sometimes. It has been taking a great toll on me losing people from life, missing people and things I once cared and still care a lot. However, life really forces you to change a lot sometimes. But with every move, there are many surprising positive things that I eventually get, for example, new friends.
Ultimately, it’s the human relationship, which linger the most, whereas, some relationships get broken with many woes. I was reading few blog posts linked below on the merits/demerits of digital nomad life and just thought about my past.
If I observe my life path, I have been a semi-nomad all my teen/adult life. This last 6 years (2014-2020) was probably the longest time I have lived in two adjacent cities for my graduate education in my ’20s, but even in this scenario, I have changed apartments/house every year. First two years (2014-2015), I frequently visited my ex girlfriend in Urbana Champaign, then (2014-2016) I lived in Lafayette, whereas since 2017 up until 2020, I lived near Purdue campus in West Lafayette. And last summer (2019 May – 2019 Aug), I lived in Silicon valley and explored the central part of the west coast in California. But when I was in Japan (2008-2014), I lived in a city at most 3 years, 1 year(2008) in Tokyo, 3 years(2009-2012) in Shikoku, (2012-2014) in Osaka, 2014 in Tokyo again. Now, even if I look further back into my life in Bangladesh, I was born in Rangpur, Bangladesh, but then my parents moved in to Ulipur, Bangladesh (~1988 – 1994 ish) where both sides of my grandparents have our country homes, then my family moved to a slightly larger northern city Rangpur (where I was born) again and I studied 10 years (1994 – 2004) for my primary and junior level schooling. After that I moved to the capital Dhaka, Bangladesh by myself leaving my parents and had my high school there from (2004-2007) and started my college in 2008 for a semester right before leaving for Japan. And of course, even in these years from 1995-2007, I changed home almost every year.
It seems to me, I have a true desire to move and roam. However, up until recently, I haven’t really realized these facts of my own life very closely. Now that I can realize, I am questioning some of the future ideas that I have. Can I ever settle somewhere, with someone? Should I ? Will I? Sometimes I feel like I am incapable of settling down as I love the idea of fluid life. But I also don’t want to have a set idea of life for mine either where everything is predictable. So, may be, it’s better to just acknowledge that I just don’t know about my future and I will never know concretely beyond just a map of ideas and dreams for an ever changing future yet to come.
Last summer I didn’t have a home and I constantly moved between airbnb, hotels, car camping. And I have been thinking whether I should go on full digital nomad mode. But as I can see there are many challenges of that. But have I ever feared challenges and risks? For me, I always craved adventures !
I believe I am not alone in this way of floating in the current of the web-like river of our lives in our society in each country on this planet in this universe. And I wish I could keep more snapshots of my life as one day it will end with all my memories inside my head.
Gosh, I have so much yet to experience and embrace! I hope not to lose track of time. And I wish I could find the less to be more.