Oddness of existence

Pessimism alert! Bad trip alert!

However, I am optimistic.

I’ve been thinking about life and miseries and roaming on YouTube and watching some documentaries. It seems to me where ever you are, what relative condition a life is ticking, every living being seems like struggling and feeling pain and suffocation and longing for getting out of the cage. Each seems to desire to live in a better condition, has a goal where each wants to reach, but then it can not, and then it is frustrated and unhappy. Each seems to feel confined in its living condition. And it’s easy to die and the fear is real. It is like neverending unhappiness and struggle to live. All an individual animal and human think about are all that it don’t have, can’t have. Each has the survival instincts and the ability to feel joy and pain. Some are not naturally selected well. Some are trying to climb the ladder, some are falling, some are rising, some are winning, some are being extinguished. Some are not better equipped for existence, some are endowed with good social and physical environment, some are not. Some are lucky, but they feel unlucky. Some are unlucky, but are unaware of the way to bring a good fortune. For human, education and information acquisition seems necessary, but then even with education, with information you can feel trapped. It seems like in life feeling trapped is inevitable.

It was a wild trip for me through internet. Normally you call or recognize that you were in the dark side of internet or youtube after such trip, as if you try to kick yourself into the good reality from a bad one, as if you feel the desire that bad things don’t exist, at least not for you, you only want to watch the good stuff, feel the good feeling, as if you want to believe that your problems and miseries are the biggest problems on earth. But it’s not. But it’s also true that you are only stuck with yourself. The first and foremost thing is your wellbeing but it’s asy to be tricked if your world view is small nd not wide enough to have a global view of existence on our pale blue planet. All may be illusion, it’s hard to figure what’s real and what’s not, as most things are beyond your reach and beyond your subjective world.

Life should be easy to live. But the baggage from evolution, from culture are too hard and the trap seems to be too tight for any individual to break through.
I am on a peak of my personal realizations.
Nothing is weird.

My mind is mashed with conflicting thoughts. But it’s all good.

May be whatever you are, where ever you are, accepting and embracing it is the first step, and then the continuation. Being a human is probably lucky that you are uniquely positioned to think through all these. But then a human mind is so tricky, if it’s not filled with the positive stuff, if it’s not directed towards a good path, it can make a living hell out of itself even in the best livable condition. So, life is a blessing and a curse at the same time; it’s ultimately how it’s perceived. You can know the light, when you experienced darkness.. and vice versa.

If you want to have the same trip like mine…it will be a bad trip for you if you watch these videos sequentially.. . in total I probably watched 50 videos over a long time. Haha.

There’s also almost infinite good stuff and videos too on YouTube. You can always cherry pick and demand to see the good instead of the bad.

A struggling penguin..

Survival of a bear vs a seal

Tribal limitedness

A brothel in the south east

Unhappy women seeking for marriage

Crazy girlfriends

Unhappy rich people


Hope it is :)

It’s never tiring to explore new things. All you need is to change your perspective, widen your horizon, reach outwards, toss out your fear for unknowns. Inquiring into the unknown may be daunting, but the effort you make always brings the fruit. It sometimes is tremendously hard to leave the shoes that you were wearing for long long time. There is no doubt that you have legitimate reasons to keep your old shoes on and try to keep yourself in your comfort zone. But the truth is none of your comfort zones are really perpetual which can accommodate you forever safely. It takes mere hours to lose your seemingly unassailable habitat that you might have built for years. There is no lack of catastrophe in this beautiful but dangerous world. The more you are reluctant to increase the breadth of your life, the more you are prone to make yourself vulnerable. It takes quite a bit of learning how you truly reach even to the person you meet everyday, how you open your mind to different possibilities. It may be our cognitive deficiency that we feel scared when we are uncertain. But look around, does anything look certain to you? Then this constant desire for certainty is probably the wrong way of approaching towards life. Preparation for uncertainty has its fundamental requirement of challenging your ideas and being persuasive enough to experience everything that is obscure. Learning how to navigate through the whirling winds in your life require courage and you can garner the raw materials that give birth to an intrepid heart by being adventurous. Have you noticed in the phenomenal Tom & Jerry cartoon where Tom sometimes is running desperately and then cross the edge of a high place and run on literally nothing underneath his feet? But interestingly he doesn’t fall until he looks downward and suddenly finds no ground beneath his feet. I think first of all you try to avoid crossing an edge unless you are pushed enough and secondly even if you decide to cross, you should not look down. You need to learn to obtain the skill of retaining your valor to deal the unusual. You may gain some invisible force that will allow you to cross if you don’t let your mind be boggled by the vacuum. Because there will soon be something to fill you and let you fly. You may not have some real wings but you can definitely grow some temporary ones and enter into the synthetic reality to navigate the gloomy verisimilitude. I know we get tired when we see everything worth gaining is expensive and demand a great deal of effort. It’s not that we don’t try but we get tired and alarmed due to the failures we experience. Sometimes it feels like everything around is structured to diminish your spirit but that’s the pessimism spiral you should try to get out of. It takes time to be inspired, it takes positive events to occur in all the negative randomness we are submerged with. But hope it is and dream it is that should keep us alive and I am not frightened to dare the darkness. Are you?