You and I – 5

I: I think I am full of superiority complex. I have this condescension and self-righteousness as I can see through. And why won’t I? I feel disgusted when I can see the stupid self-destructive actions people take. Why are people so stupid?

You: It’s an illusion. You come from what you have experienced. You may know certain things more. But you don’t know, can not know everything as you have not experienced everything. You only know your life and you see everything through your lens. You may be right in terms of what is to be done right, but you have no clue why they might not have been understanding what you understand.

I: I hate to fail.

You: It’s ok if you fail now. Accept the failure. It does not mean “You are THE FAILURE”.

I: I hate deadlines.

You: Deadlines are there so that you can enjoy the freedom afterward. Ultimately you are free and there is no rush. But don’t you want to accomplish things in life? If you do, then deadlines are your friends.

I: Is my physical experience that important?

You: Your physical appearance, experience are important. Because your mind lives inside your physical body.

I: Why am I so much bothered by the physical cravings – hunger for food, sex etc? They are killing me.

You: They are your physical needs which need to be dealt with for your mind to keep engaged and flourish. Neglecting them, you will starve yourself and feeling starved your mind will not let you who you can truly become.

I: Aren’t physical appearances just the way to attract other people?

You: Yes, but it depends on how you look. Our reality is that we already live in a society. You won’t be who you are if your parents wouldn’t raise you properly, if your closed ones wouldn’t love and take care of you. However, attracting other people may not be the final goal of life. Therefore, if you are in a place where your physical appearance is harming your mental peace- like if you are fat and feel shame, you are creating a problem for your own self. There are things you can try to reconcile with. You need to think about your priorities – what you really care about. But you need to believe that you can change. You should be able to hope. You are more than your body and your mind. So say when you feel vulnerable “I am not just my body. I am not just my mind either.”

I: What do you think about minimalistic life- making everything simple, possessing few things?

You: It might help you stay away from debt or pay off your debt. Letting redundant things go can save yourself from taking unnecessary burdens Depending on how you do it, it can be adventurous. You can be a digital nomad or an urban nomad. You can travel around, make more friends and have some exciting experiences. But you need to be brave and be ready to be surprised constantly and be prepared for dangerous experiences too.

Image courtesy: http://tiny.cc/rhyd6y

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Realizing The Illusion

It’s not that difficult to see how illusory everything is. If self itself is an illusion, then everything created by that self is also an illusion. Ego! It’s an identity created by all the neural connectivity the brain experiences over time with the physical body participating in all the real events it had in its scope in its lifetime. If the physical self wouldn’t experience certain things, wouldn’t have participated in specific life events, the experiences of the brain would be different and so is the ego and so is the self. So, I, as a whole, is just one of the billions of others I could have become. But I am too attached to my own identity. Everyone is. And one can argue that for the style of life in a communal society, you don’t have much choice. If everyday when you wake up, you could start a new you wanting to erase all the past you, you wouldn’t be accepted. Not that you need to care! But.. again.. If you wear costume and change your outlook every morning so that no one can identify you, then you don’t exist in the eyes of others. But you do exist. But the problem is you start questioning your own existence. Because you are confused with multiple identities in yourself and so the others around you give you the perspective about what you mostly are. At least in general sense. I am not saying that it’s not possible to identify yourself without other human minds and their opinions. You may not need another human being, but you need this world, the air, the sky where you are contained to feel your existence. That means you understand yourself from an external towards an internal process, not an internal towards an external process. I will argue the later is almost impossible. Let me elucidate – When you are sleeping at night, if you are not dreaming or at least if you don’t recall dreaming, you are breathing, everything outside you is still going on, somebody is drinking, somebody is writing song or poetry, somebody is fucking hard or moaning or screaming, somebody is crying, somebody is laughing his ass off, somebody is just looking at the night sky, but you are not experiencing those, you are just not a part of those stories, so those don’t add anything to yourself, for you those are unreal, so your reality is only constructed when you are conscious about what’s going on. That’s why you can not feel your existence when you are unaware. That means all these going on surrounding you give you the perspective of your own existence. Anyway, I digress. Realizing that everything is relative can help us not to attach too much to certain things. Pain, dissatisfaction can be very hard to deal with. It’s because we feel extreme attachment with those memories. We feel like our selves have been wounded, damaged by those experiences, by those failures. Joy, satisfaction are also similar. One can argue that if you don’t have such attachment, then you will feel neither joy nor sadness. And that’s entirely true. You need some attachment to feel. I never said that the illusion is not important. The illusion is important for you to feel, for you to be a human being. But you don’t need to disagree with the fact that it’s an illusion. You, again, just sometimes need to realize that these are illusion. At least it helps when you are crippled with something inside your mind and sometimes when your own self, your own ego hurts you. And may be when you are against your self. You may question – then what’s the point? Where is the value of yourself? What’s the purpose? I don’t know the most philosophically accepted answer. But for me, you need those for you to continue, for you to be a productive member of your community. You just need to keep going till you expire. So, you can come up with your own answers. You can take answers from those who pondered a lot on those. Or you can be totally oblivious about all these questions and keep on living, eating, shitting and fucking and if you are smart, making some contribution so that others can keep on doing those a little bit longer than they would if you wouldn’t give a shit. Well, is this a pessimistic view about life? May be it is! I could do some euphemism and could come up with some optimistic one. That I often do. Optimism sometimes helps, pessimism sometimes helps. Hey! You need both calmness and anger. All you need just to go on. May be some options are better because they are less chaotic. But this time, let it be this way. If your surrounding, whatever achievements, whatsoever human connections, your religion, your ideology  can answer your questions, help you to keep walking and persevering, then have them. But some are false, some are half false, some are true and you should not burden with your realization on someone else. And importantly again, realize that it’s all illusion and keep on acting.