You and I

I: I like that you like to live in the moment.

You: We are always living in a moment. What do you mean? You think you are not living in the moment?

I: True. But what I mean is that if I am doing things now for something that I expect to happen in a future moment, am I living in the moment? I am bit confused.

You: Of course you are still living in the moment. But you probably don’t feel like living in the moment.

I: But if I am not feeling to be living in the moment, am I truly living in the moment? Isn’t there a distinction between fact and fiction? Or is it that everything is fiction?

You: It can be that everything is a fiction.

I: No, our reality, the world outside us might not be a fiction. Pain might not be a fiction. Death might not be a fiction. I am not sure about pleasure though. Pleasures can be fictitious. I don’t know.. You seem to be living in the moment whereas I can’t really claim it like that. Or I should say I don’t feel to claim it like that. I tend to feel that I know what is ahead of me. At least I can have a good prediction of that based on my prior experience. But I am relying on my thinking mind and my collected knowledge and my instinct.

You: But don’t you ever wonder to start your day like you are a newborn baby?

I: I actually do.

You: Have you asked yourself why you have that desire to be reborn? Is it because you are burdened with your past?

I: It can be. But I’d say it’s not as simple as that.

You: I saw an episode of Black Mirror the other day. One thing kind of struck me. They were saying that memory is a way to trigger you to get back to your past to change your path. I have never thought it that way?

I: In a way it’s true. Especially if you are taking an action based on your memory. Isn’t it?

(to be continued ..)

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Some crappy, some not but one needs it all

Permanent happiness is for sure an illusion. By little introspection, one can easily find out that one can not be permanently happy. Because one’s experience itself is pretty dynamic constantly influenced by the natural world outside, the emotional world inside and the superabundant interactions between these two. If the ultimate goal of one is to achieve an optimal state of happiness in the most possible conscious moments of one’s life, then from the very start of that continuous journey, one needs to prepare oneself for the rocky unhappy moments. But there are always some surprising unhappy moments one can not be prepared for and in fact, a life where everything is predictable is probably a very boring life to lead with few diversities and excitements at all. Then it follows that one’s experience of unhappiness, distress and melancholy is inevitable for one’s own happiness. One may argue that happiness and unhappiness are two sides of a coin being flipped randomly and incessantly. One, as an experiencer, is just a part of the coin flip reality with one’s desperate desire to achieve the happy side every time but evidently no prior ability to force the coin. Does then being a vigilant who prepares for future shock tend to achieve more happiness than a carefree? In general, our education claims to teach to prepare us so that we can be better equipped to deal with the uncertainties brought to us each day. Desire to get a good job, desire to acquire a good mate, desire to have stability in one’s inner mind and the desire for peace in society – all are to bring more happiness around. But one can never avoid being unhappy is what my personal realization at this moment.