P.U.R.P.O.S.E.

Some words just shine on you and reflect like zillions of lights altogether: “Presumably there is indeed no purpose in the ultimate fate of the cosmos, but do any of us really tie our life’s hopes to the ultimate fate of the cosmos anyway? Of course we don’t; not if we are sane. Our lives are ruled by all sorts of closer, warmer, human ambitions and perceptions. To accuse science of robbing life of the warmth that makes it worth living is so preposterously mistaken, so diametrically opposite..” – Excerpt from The Selfish Gene that Dawkins regret for not renaming as The Immortal Gene or The cooperative Gene.

Whenever you have a shortage of purposefulness and your world become nihilistic, just call your loved ones. The ultimate reality of cosmos can never or should never take away your good feelings.

#science #evolution #cosmos #nihilism #purpose #spiritual

A life of roaming

“I was never going to go if I was waiting for someone to come with me” – Laura.

It’s time again soon for me to plan and move to a different city and I already started fearing a new life and missing my friends. And I have been reminiscing.

Every time I move, I lose my friends and some of them are really close. It’s hard to stay away from family too sometimes. It has been taking a great toll on me losing people from life, missing people and things I once cared and still care a lot. However, life really forces you to change a lot sometimes. But with every move, there are many surprising positive things that I eventually get, for example, new friends.

Ultimately, it’s the human relationship, which linger the most, whereas, some relationships get broken with many woes. I was reading few blog posts linked below on the merits/demerits of digital nomad life and just thought about my past.

If I observe my life path, I have been a semi-nomad all my teen/adult life. This last 6 years (2014-2020) was probably the longest time I have lived in two adjacent cities for my graduate education in my ’20s, but even in this scenario, I have changed apartments/house every year. First two years (2014-2015), I frequently visited my ex girlfriend in Urbana Champaign, then (2014-2016) I lived in Lafayette, whereas since 2017 up until 2020, I lived near Purdue campus in West Lafayette. And last summer (2019 May – 2019 Aug), I lived in Silicon valley and explored the central part of the west coast in California. But when I was in Japan (2008-2014), I lived in a city at most 3 years, 1 year(2008) in Tokyo, 3 years(2009-2012) in Shikoku, (2012-2014) in Osaka, 2014 in Tokyo again. Now, even if I look further back into my life in Bangladesh, I was born in Rangpur, Bangladesh, but then my parents moved in to Ulipur, Bangladesh (~1988 – 1994 ish) where both sides of my grandparents have our country homes, then my family moved to a slightly larger northern city Rangpur (where I was born) again and I studied 10 years (1994 – 2004) for my primary and junior level schooling. After that I moved to the capital Dhaka, Bangladesh by myself leaving my parents and had my high school there from (2004-2007) and started my college in 2008 for a semester right before leaving for Japan. And of course, even in these years from 1995-2007, I changed home almost every year.

It seems to me, I have a true desire to move and roam. However, up until recently, I haven’t really realized these facts of my own life very closely. Now that I can realize, I am questioning some of the future ideas that I have. Can I ever settle somewhere, with someone? Should I ? Will I? Sometimes I feel like I am incapable of settling down as I love the idea of fluid life. But I also don’t want to have a set idea of life for mine either where everything is predictable. So, may be, it’s better to just acknowledge that I just don’t know about my future and I will never know concretely beyond just a map of ideas and dreams for an ever changing future yet to come.

Last summer I didn’t have a home and I constantly moved between airbnb, hotels, car camping. And I have been thinking whether I should go on full digital nomad mode. But as I can see there are many challenges of that. But have I ever feared challenges and risks? For me, I always craved adventures !

I believe I am not alone in this way of floating in the current of the web-like river of our lives in our society in each country on this planet in this universe. And I wish I could keep more snapshots of my life as one day it will end with all my memories inside my head.

Gosh, I have so much yet to experience and embrace! I hope not to lose track of time. And I wish I could find the less to be more.

#life #memories #travel #nomad #backpacker

https://blog.tortugabackpacks.com/realities-digital-nomad-…/
https://abackpackerstale.com/
https://piktochart.com/…/unglamorous-facts-digital-nomad-l…/

I was in Love

I am little heart broken last two days. And I guess like many of you, I go back to those songs we can relate. I was watching the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”. It was enjoyable to watch, but at the same time I despised it as I read the book first. One line I love from the book that I loved seeing two characters play on the screen though. It goes like this ““Sometimes to lose balance for love, is part of living a balanced life.””

I have been trying to be productive in the morning. But then got hooked with this Japanese song.

Kagerou by One OK Rock. Yay! I can still read Kanjis… 🙂

君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ, 伝えられず僕は漂う..
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU, tsutaerarezu boku wa tadayou…)
I will float/scatter my feelings when I remember you, instead of telling
ふと気づくと僕はここに立っていた
(futo kidzuku to boku wa koko ni tatteita)
When realization hit me suddenly, I was standing here
抱くはずのない気持ちを片手に
(idaku hazu no nai kimochi wo katate ni)
Feelings, I had no intention of embracing, was in my one hand
巻き戻してみたらこの思いは見えるかな
(makimodoshite mitara kono omoi wa mieru kana?)
Could I see my affection if I tried to rewind?
早送りしたらこの感情は残るのかな
(hayaokuri shitara kono kanjou wa nokoru no kana?)
I wonder if it’ll stay if I fast-forwarded
そんなワケないって笑ってみるけど
(sonna WAKE nai tte waratte miru kedo)
“Yeah, right,” I try to say with a laugh
その笑いすらもう不自然で
(sono warai sura mou fushizen de)
But even my smile looked artificial/fake
君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU)
My feelings for you sparkle in my thoughts
まだ自分に素直になれない
(mada jibun ni sunao ni narenai)
I can’t be honest with myself yet
本当はもう気付いているのに
(hontou wa mou kidzuiteiru no ni)
Even though I’ve realized the truth
ただ言葉にできない自分がうずいているの!
(tada kotoba ni dekinai jibun ga uzuiteiru no!)
The tingling sensation in myself that can’t still express my feelings in words
意識すればするほど遠のいていく
(ishiki sureba suru hodo toonoiteiku)
I’ll fade away if I’m too aware
それが淋しいのは何でだろう?
(sore ga sabishii no wa nande darou?)
Why does that seem so lonely?
別にって態度で話流したり
(betsu ni tte taido de hanashi nagashitari)
Why do my words spilling out with a “whatever” attitude
いつもより何故か冷たくして…
(itsumo yori nazeka tsumetaku shite…)
Make them colder than usual?
君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU)
My feelings for you float in my thoughts
まだ自分に素直になれない
(mada jibun ni sunao ni narenai)
I can’t be honest with myself yet
本当はもう気付いているのに
(hontou wa mou kidzuiteiru no ni)
Even though I’ve realized the truth
ただ言葉にできない自分がいるだけなの
(tada kotoba ni dekinai jibun ga iru dake na no!)
I’m still just here with the words I can’t get out
何気ない仕草でも目だけは君だけを追っていた
(nanigenai shigusa demo me dake wa kimi dake wo otteita)
Maybe I was nonchalant, but you’re the only one my eyes were chasing
なんて考えた時はもう好きだった 君と会うと決めた日は
どれだけ自分を隠しただろう?
(nante kangaeta toki wa mou suki datta kimi to au to kimeta hi wa dore dake jibun wo kakushita darou?
When I think about the day we met when you still liked me, how much did you hide yourself?)
嫌われるのが恐くてって考えた時には愛してた
(kirawareru no ga kowakute… tte kangaeta toki ni wa aishiteta)
When I thought how much I was scared of being hated, I knew I was in love
愛してた
I was in love
愛してた
I was in love

Source: https://sites.google.com/site/takasrock/kagerou

#NowPlaying
https://open.spotify.com/album/5vG1nA5IR7bIv9mfhjGKNd…

In search of meaning or not?

Birth was not a choice, but living life should be and is a choice. There is no inherent one meaning for life, just because there is no one way of living life. Your meaning of life should adhere to your way of living life. However, the space where our lives are contained is a shared space. Therefore, we create some rules to abide by so that our distinct subjectivities don’t collide up to the point that we crush (which unfortunately is happening). The ordinary monkey way of living has evolved in such a way that we let these rules rule our inner selves so much that we can’t find our inner selves anymore and everything feels like a burden. Life feels meaningless. Think about it.. when you were a child, you were mindlessly roaming everywhere, probably was not giving a damn about the meaning of life. Then why do you give so much damn about meaning now? Because we are just bored, everything feels the same, we can’t change things, we feel helpless, we can’t create, we don’t know where we are heading, it all looks like a fog. But I can argue that if you can start thinking like a baby again, you will see you would feel differently. But I know it’s not easy. Time is a forward-moving trajectory. So, if you choose to live, it’s probably better to live the way your mind and body is in a union which then generate joy and fulfillment. There are some known facts from past experiences, scientific discoveries through neuroscience, yogic science, what can lead to the betterment of health and mind that we can follow to live longer and happier. Even though your body shares a lot of genetic memory, your mind already inherited a lot of baggage from the past, it’s probably always better to believe in the fluid nature of mind that can change and strive towards bringing good for you and others. And if you definitely need a meaning for yourself to move forward, just create one. I believe in taking the full responsibility for this life I am carrying.

Sadness is about feeling aloof from the sweetness,

Sadness is about failing to filter the joy of life through the bitterness,

Sadness is about trying to escape

Sadness is about being unable to let go

Sadness is about not being desired

Sadness is about feeling afraid

Sadness is about feeling invisible in the crowd

Sadness is about not accepting the very own insignificance

Sadness is about feeling ignored

Sadness is about feeling powerless and miserable

Sadness is about trying to hold onto everything

Sadness is about burning inside

Sadness is about feeling shy to cry

Sadness is about missing and roaming in the pockets of memory

Sadness is about getting caught in a maze

Sadness is about getting stuck in the darkness

Sadness is about failing to see the light

Sadness is about isolation

Sadness is about getting lost

 

Happiness is about feeling the sensation of a warm coffee cup

Happiness is about kissing the lips without contradictions

Happiness is about getting naked under the moonlight

Happiness is about being silly in the crowd

Happiness is about kicking the nightmares

Happiness is about not feeling afraid

Happiness is about feeling secured

Happiness is about feeling recognized, feeling important

Happiness is about lighting the fire

Happiness is about dancing with the wind

Happiness is about taking a deep breath without fear

Happiness is about feeling empowered

Happiness is about finding the path towards brightness

Happiness is about making friendly calls

Happiness is about embracing everyone

Happiness is about rediscovering ownself

Happiness is about getting discovered

 

Both just happen to us.

Both are unreal.

But we are real.

Oddness of existence

Pessimism alert! Bad trip alert!

However, I am optimistic.

I’ve been thinking about life and miseries and roaming on YouTube and watching some documentaries. It seems to me where ever you are, what relative condition a life is ticking, every living being seems like struggling and feeling pain and suffocation and longing for getting out of the cage. Each seems to desire to live in a better condition, has a goal where each wants to reach, but then it can not, and then it is frustrated and unhappy. Each seems to feel confined in its living condition. And it’s easy to die and the fear is real. It is like neverending unhappiness and struggle to live. All an individual animal and human think about are all that it don’t have, can’t have. Each has the survival instincts and the ability to feel joy and pain. Some are not naturally selected well. Some are trying to climb the ladder, some are falling, some are rising, some are winning, some are being extinguished. Some are not better equipped for existence, some are endowed with good social and physical environment, some are not. Some are lucky, but they feel unlucky. Some are unlucky, but are unaware of the way to bring a good fortune. For human, education and information acquisition seems necessary, but then even with education, with information you can feel trapped. It seems like in life feeling trapped is inevitable.

It was a wild trip for me through internet. Normally you call or recognize that you were in the dark side of internet or youtube after such trip, as if you try to kick yourself into the good reality from a bad one, as if you feel the desire that bad things don’t exist, at least not for you, you only want to watch the good stuff, feel the good feeling, as if you want to believe that your problems and miseries are the biggest problems on earth. But it’s not. But it’s also true that you are only stuck with yourself. The first and foremost thing is your wellbeing but it’s asy to be tricked if your world view is small nd not wide enough to have a global view of existence on our pale blue planet. All may be illusion, it’s hard to figure what’s real and what’s not, as most things are beyond your reach and beyond your subjective world.

Life should be easy to live. But the baggage from evolution, from culture are too hard and the trap seems to be too tight for any individual to break through.
I am on a peak of my personal realizations.
Nothing is weird.

My mind is mashed with conflicting thoughts. But it’s all good.

May be whatever you are, where ever you are, accepting and embracing it is the first step, and then the continuation. Being a human is probably lucky that you are uniquely positioned to think through all these. But then a human mind is so tricky, if it’s not filled with the positive stuff, if it’s not directed towards a good path, it can make a living hell out of itself even in the best livable condition. So, life is a blessing and a curse at the same time; it’s ultimately how it’s perceived. You can know the light, when you experienced darkness.. and vice versa.

If you want to have the same trip like mine…it will be a bad trip for you if you watch these videos sequentially.. . in total I probably watched 50 videos over a long time. Haha.

There’s also almost infinite good stuff and videos too on YouTube. You can always cherry pick and demand to see the good instead of the bad.

A struggling penguin..

Survival of a bear vs a seal

Tribal limitedness

A brothel in the south east

Unhappy women seeking for marriage

Crazy girlfriends

Unhappy rich people

Can Money Buy Everything?

My friend on Facebook posted..
Those who keep saying “Money Can’t Buy Everything” don’t have enough money.

And I argued:

“It’s very easy to disprove. Can a billionaire buy you with money? Yes or No? Can he buy to be the most empathetic person, can he buy to be the best scientist? I can go on and on what he can not buy. But it’s true that he can buy lots of things that most people can’t. But even if, what is it that most people want.. big house, big salary, luxary cars, jewelery, ability to travel, power and influence. I can give you hundreds of examples of enthusiastic people who are not rich, who are doing these way better than Donald Trump or some other boring billionaires. Just watch Instagram and YouTube mindfully, how beautifully people can live with less. Money can’t buy creativity, peace in mind; it can just help towards that path. It’s just a vehicle for comfort and survival but it itself is not the comfort and happiness. But look.. this kind of mentality that money is everything.. imprison the free mind and make your mind and then life a living hell. Do u really not think you can just leave every fucking luxary and go to a jungle and live peacefully eating fruits? I am telling you I can totally see myself doing that if that’s whats gonna give me happiness and peace. I’m not a prisoner of the society and the world where money is required. LoL. Money is just a peace of paper. It’s the idea and perception of living that’s important. Peace!! Haha. ;)”

What do you think and say? I would like to hear.

Richness – Opportunity in block chain space

From my understanding of life, becoming a billionaire or becoming rich is not the goal of life. And I used to call myself ambitious, but I learnt to dislike the word “Ambition” now. Ambition is a self-centered outlook that only works within your context and is more often disconnected. I rather love the word “Vision” now and want to be a part in the bigger process for creativity.
Anyway, if you become rich, good for you. But I will value you for the things that matter for me or the society around, not for the things that you own personally. Being happy and feeling the passion for living and doing good things for you and people around you give you the purpose for living further and create. If you have realized the complexity of life and managed to remain happy, then probably you would like everyone to be happy around you with your rich mind or create jobs to employ people so that they can have better life. An inclusive mind and an inclusive society and an inclusive economy are what we should envision.
However, I am posting this to make you realize that there are people who seize the opportunity, who can see through and work hard to become what they become. And they create and contribute even more sometimes. And it should be inspiring for us to explore and may be find our own path to richness of both kinds. There will always be things in the hand of luck, but what you can change or take is what you should focus on. And that’s where the dimension of time comes into place. All we are losing is time every moment if we haven’t made the best use of it. I feel like the block chain, Bitcoin space is full of opportunities for many, for researchers, academicians, statisticians, economists, engineers, programmers, data scientists like me, businessman or woman, large companies, governments, individuals. For change, you need disruption sometimes. To be enthusiastic, you need something that excites. So, cheering for all of your endeavors and everyone to utilize your opportunities in this space to feel proud of. Hope you will create opportunities for others through your service of whatever kind.

But if you don’t want to read a story of a crypto billionaire, but rather prefer to read about philosophy from a Yogi about creativity, vision or ambition. Read this: http://isha.sadhguru.org/blog/lifestyle/success/ambition-to-vision-more-to-all/

Have a great day, guys.

https://amp-timeinc-net.cdn.ampproject.org/c/amp.timeinc.net/time/money/5198682/cryptocurrency-billionaires

On Living – A poem shared by a friend

A poem by Nazim Hikmet from turkey shared by a Turkish friend. And I said to my friend “I like how it gives me a sense of purpose and the meaning in living and the desire to live more seriously.” So, feeling to share..

About the poet Nazim Hikmet

Nazim Hikmet was born on January 15, 1902 in Salonika, Ottoman Empire (now Thessaloníki, Greece), where his father served in the Foreign Service. He was exposed to poetry at an early age through his artist mother and poet grandfather, and had his first poems published when he was seventeen.

Raised in Istanbul, Hikmet left Allied-occupied Turkey after the First World War and ended up in Moscow, where he attended the university and met writers and artists from all over the world. After the Turkish Independence in 1924 he returned to Turkey, but was soon arrested for working on a leftist magazine. He managed to escape to Russia, where he continued to write plays and poems.

And the poem:

On Living
Nazim Hikmet, 1902 – 1963
I

Living is no laughing matter:
you must live with great seriousness
like a squirrel, for example—
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Living is no laughing matter:
you must take it seriously,
so much so and to such a degree
that, for example, your hands tied behind your back,
your back to the wall,
or else in a laboratory
in your white coat and safety glasses,
you can die for people—
even for people whose faces you’ve never seen,
even though you know living
is the most real, the most beautiful thing.
I mean, you must take living so seriously
that even at seventy, for example, you’ll plant olive trees—
and not for your children, either,
but because although you fear death you don’t believe it,
because living, I mean, weighs heavier.
II

Let’s say we’re seriously ill, need surgery—
which is to say we might not get up
from the white table.
Even though it’s impossible not to feel sad
about going a little too soon,
we’ll still laugh at the jokes being told,
we’ll look out the window to see if it’s raining,
or still wait anxiously
for the latest newscast. . .
Let’s say we’re at the front—
for something worth fighting for, say.
There, in the first offensive, on that very day,
we might fall on our face, dead.
We’ll know this with a curious anger,
but we’ll still worry ourselves to death
about the outcome of the war, which could last years.
Let’s say we’re in prison
and close to fifty,
and we have eighteen more years, say,
before the iron doors will open.
We’ll still live with the outside,
with its people and animals, struggle and wind—
I mean with the outside beyond the walls.
I mean, however and wherever we are,
we must live as if we will never die.
III

This earth will grow cold,
a star among stars
and one of the smallest,
a gilded mote on blue velvet—
I mean this, our great earth.
This earth will grow cold one day,
not like a block of ice
or a dead cloud even
but like an empty walnut it will roll along
in pitch-black space . . .
You must grieve for this right now
—you have to feel this sorrow now—
for the world must be loved this much
if you’re going to say “I lived”. . .