You & I – 6 (Silverlining)

I: I want to talk to you.

You: Why don’t you?

I: Because after all those, I feel scared of feeling in a certain way which drags me down everytime. You know how I can say many harsh things.

You: Yes, you are ruthless.

I: So, I also don’t want to say something irrational again to shock you more.

You: Good that you care.

I: I know that we all have our own problems in our present and adding more to that and feeling stressed are probably we both can not afford.

You: Then why do you complicate things time after time?

I: Deep down, I still have deep emotion for you, and the many trauma I went through and risked myself with were and are pretty self destructive that I feel like I rather keep them in my safe box.  But still I am the one who ends up saying more on my own terms as I am probably always bad at listening.

You: God, I wish you could listen more.

I: Anyway, I miss you everytime anything resonates with me to realize how deeply I loved and cared about you, even though our expressions are very different.    

You: I miss you too.

I: I was watching this movie “The mountain between us” – it’s about these one male and female who get stuck after a plane crush and eventually survive. He was married and she was about to get married the next day after that plane crash. But they get closer while fighting for their survival. Eventually they came out of the situation falling in love with each other, but still when they came back to the real world from the wild, they could not just get together because they each had their past baggage to carry on, but eventually they get together again, because they truly had love for each other.. or may be the movie just wanted to produce a good ending. And may be, in real life, it’s way more tragic.

You: I understand.

I: I truly see my love story, the way we met, the way we conquered many obstacles, the way I blindly trusted you and the way we demised as the greatest tragedy of my life, even if no one cares.

You: May be you don’t need to see everything so negatively.

I: When I talked to my therapist who in a way saved me from wrecking myself, I described my state like a torn down island after a Tsunami, but I recognized that I have to rebuild again and I probably kind of did succeed in that, but definitely I did not feel at that moment that I will regain my courage to continue as I felt so little.   

You: But we need to learn from the past eventually. And I want to have you as a friend again.

I: YEAH! I want to be your friend, I want to be in a place of strength where your thoughts and you no longer hurt me anymore, rather I can take you as one of the best friends who know certain parts of me more than anyone else.

You: I’d love that. I miss talking to you too.

I: I am pretty sure we are both quite different persons than who we were, may be in many ways unrecognizable. How do you truly feel about me when you think about me or us? Do you think you know me?

You: There’s many things that probably also didn’t change though. But I also think I could revert many things and not hurt you.

I: I know that I could not make you feel the way one wants to feel when one is in love and rather our love turned into boring chores and less exciting day by day and eventually it had to experience the death.

You: I agree.

I: May be, I took many things for granted that I shouldn’t have and I have beaten myself for many years to find answers to what else I could have done. I have spent hours after hours feeling sad, and may be I still can not see the way you see and can move on just saying that it’s the past we can learn from, because those hours of clouds and grief and depression will always have a reach at me.

You: But you need to realize that it wasn’t very easy for me either.

I: It’s me who felt betrayed, even if I didn’t necessarily need to feel that way. 

You: What can I say more as I apologized many times for making things worse..?

I: Yeah, I or we just can not change the past. I also wish I could revert many things, I also want to say sorry for saying many things that’s not true, for doing many things that only pushed each other away, even though I also only intended otherwise, only wanted to bond more. We can only learn from the past, but I’m truly afraid whether I will ever be able to bring anyone as close as I brought you inside my heart.

You: I know that.

I: It just breaks my heart when I think about how our love expired. But there’s definitely thousand things I have to be grateful for the experiences we had. And the things I learnt from our relationship. 

You: True.

I: Like now, I’m lying down writing and thinking – We will just stay in two corners of the world knowing that we once loved each other.

You: If you feel like, we can talk about our memories which are valuable to both of us.

I: I even feel like if I could sit in front of you, I just won’t have to say a single word.

You: Yeah.

I: That itself is meaningful. I truly think love is not easy to find and we were lucky to have it when we were young.

You: I feel the same way.

I: I hope I can find love again and I wish the same for you, because love is beautiful and worth living for. Thank you for the beautiful moments of your life that you shared with me. I truly wanted to have it more, but may be it was just not meant to be. 

Backpacking and earning a living online

I meet many friends who don’t know how to earn online. So, I thought to make a convenient list or give some general ideas.

I meet many friends who don’t know how to earn online. So, I thought to make a list.

Sometimes making a living or earning online while traveling is just about knowing where to look for information or growing opportunity. Also you need to grow your own reliable network so that you eventually have a stream of job options. It’s not easy, it’s pretty challenging but it can be adventurous.

Sometimes just having a laptop or even a smart phone and some dedicated time with your awesome brain, it’s possible to earn money. Initially it’s difficult, because you need to build a portfolio so that you can convince people that you will be able to provide quality service. It can be frustrating, but also rewarding.

These jobs are typically not stable careers, but if you are resilient enough, you can make decent living. Also, some people travel to Asia or places where it is not expensive and you can easily or comfortably get through by earning few dollars a day.

Some example jobs:
a) Teaching english or other language over skype or other web conferencing program
https://www.dailywritingtips.com/make-money-teaching-engli…/

b) Translation
https://speakt.com/translators/
https://unbabel.com/translators/

c) Data labeling on Amazon mechanical turk https://www.mturk.com/

g) Graphics design, designing T-shirts (http://redbubble.com), stickers etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idyuIF1PYvI

h) Dog walking, baby sitting what not..check http://craiglist.com basically doing something for someone else when the job provider don’t have time but you have time. etc.

i) Uber also falls into this category.
http://uber.com

j) For housewives who have babies and can’t afford to go outside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95W399Vv0bc

k) Being a photographer, model, youtuber, blogger, vlogger and earning through ad reveneue.

i) Delivering packages (http://roadie.com)

j) Earn with crypto websites. Basically earn tokens that can be exchangeable with dollars.
Blog on http://hive.com/blog and earn steem
Vlog on d.tube and earn DTC http://d.tube
Change from Chrome/Mozilla to Brave browser and earn BAT token.
There are also job platforms where you can search by category. Typically you create your portfolio here, get recommendations from people you worked with.

1. http://upwork.com
2. http://guru.com
3. http://toptal.com
Some others: https://www.hostinger.com/tutorials/best-freelance-websites

Some others videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BInTtIWb6C4

Even craiglist.

Find some more in this quora post:
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-earn-money-online-or-have-a…
https://www.hostinger.com/tutorials/best-freelance-websites

Read make money traveling for more options:
https://www.claimcompass.eu/blog/make-money-traveling/

Everything is on the internet. You just need to be patient and dedicated, and figure out what you like to do.

Good luck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgVir2SKuw0

Read the backpacker’s tale
http://abackpackerstale.com

#travel #earnonlinefemale-typing-on-computer

A winner who doesn’t want to win for himself but for all of us

Bernie plummets to undisputed 1st place while Biden SURGES to distant second, nationally, finally!

If Bernie just can pull off South Carolina and knocks Biden out of the ring one more time! That’s the hurdle and tomorrow’s debate performance at Charlseton, SC is very crucial as every other candidate and media are ready to throw everything at him. Why is Jim Clyburn, the house majority whip from South Carolina, thinking about endorsing Biden after his miserable performance in IOWA, NH and NEVADA is beyond my common sense? Well!

California, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania – Bernie is going to win. Michigan and Massachusetts are going to be tough race as they are the home states of Amy Klobucher and Elizabeth Warren. But Bernie can still pull that off given few more wins along the path.

Marianne Williamson’s endorsement after dropping out from the race is the biggest news of this week as she brings many people traditionally uninterested in politics early on now to understand Bernie’s platform. May be because of her, Bernie may win Texas, even against Trump in general election.

I hope Yang and Tulsi will support Bernie after super Tuesday.

I like, one of the leading female anti-corruption activist, Zephyr Teachout(Attorney and Law professor) endorsing Bernie (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zephyr_Teachout). I actually like her more than Elizabeth Warren in terms of what she stands for. I wish she could run one day or get a significant position in Bernie’s cabinet if she wins. She has the merit to be the first woman President of United States one day. And former African American senator Nina Turner as VP under Bernie will make it all-around. Indian origin Rep. Pramila Joyapal from Washington is endorsing Bernie and integrating her own proposal with Bernie’s medicare4all to provide universal health care for everybody in USA. Indian origin California Rep. Rho Khanna from California and middle eastern origin Rep. Rashida Tlaib from Michigan and one and only AOC from NY are helping his message soar.

The most multi-racial, multi-generational candidate of all time – Bernard Sanders. This country can truly boast of being united across gender and race and move forward with the green new deal and the real change which will propel the change in political dynamics all across the world.

Bernie got the full house.. Game over!

And yes, Bernie will beat Trump.. 100%. Landslide. If you don’t remember, Trump didn’t even win the popular vote last time, he was about 3 million votes behind Hillary Clinton. And Bernie will be millions and millions of votes ahead of Trump.. easily with all the young and multi-racial new voters who are always left out by centrist, establishment democrat.. now that most moderate democrats are also lining behind Bernie as evidenced in Nevada caucus.

If you haven’t understood Bernie’s plan yet, it’s time to realize and believe in him. Bernie did it when he became house rep in 1991 when nobody thought he could, he became the senator in 2007 when everybody was shocked, he defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016 in multiple states and started the progressive movement when he had negligible name recognition compared to Clintons outside of the progressive circle and now in 2020 every other candidates are running on his platform with his original messages. And now to everybody’s amazement again, he will win it.
Anybody who still doesn’t know what Bernie has done for this country for last ~40 years, I just really want to put a nail on your coffin.. sorry.. No, I am kidding. I love you and just learn more: https://www.sanders.senate.gov/legislation
And if you are still complaining “How is he going to pay for everything?” I will just chime what my twitter friend Tina Parker says “How will we pay for it? Well, we pay for wars, bailing out Wall st, bankers, auto companies, etc.The price we pay for NOT having it: LIVES! These are parents, children, siblings. NOT ACCEPTABLE !!” https://twitter.com/Teeparker8/status/1232129067719307269…

Because Bernie knows how to win.
Because he wants to win not for himself, but for the ideals and changes this country and the world needs at this stage of history.

Not Me, US.

#NOTMEUS

#bernie2020 #feelthebern

The point

“What is the point of it all?” It’s kind of an ironic question, it’s a foolish question.

Herbert Fingarette (20 January 1921 – 2 November 2018) was an American philosopher and emeritus professor of philosophy at the University of California, Santa Barbara who once argued that there was no reason to fear death. At 97, his own mortality began to haunt him, and he had to rethink everything.

We have invented so many things like the big G, like those pursuit of happiness as nothing can fill the void this question creates. This is where the utility of belief in afterlife comes into action, because all of a sudden, if you believe in a rewarding or punishing after life, then a believer’s meaning of life is to optimize his or her chance of getting reward instead of getting punishment. Suddenly life has a goal! What a great invention! What a great utility of fictions!

But I guess we make a mistake when we connect these two notions: “(a) There’s no point of life if I am eventually going to die” to —> “(b) Then there’s no point of doing anything to enjoy my moments and try to make my future moments”.

Yes, “You are going to die if you jump off that bridge”. Yes, “you are going to lose your mind a bit after you finish that whiskey or do drugs”. Yes, “you are going to piss off your mom or your friends if you become the same annoying and judgmental you are.”

So, the next moments do depend on what you do in this moment. Therefore, it is possible to ensure your next moments to be pleasurable or insufferable.
But yet, if we look back, we realize we made most of our moments to be insufferable. We acknowledge most of it seem to be outside of our hands.
But should that be the reason to give up, ay?

And is striving to live life better and challenging your own self and realigning therefore the pursuit?

Of course, there are many points in experiencing and creating our moments like getting that first job, falling in love, reminiscing that last goodbye, sending letters of love, protesting against injustice.

But most of points are ultimately only valid for yourself, not for anyone or anything else. Only you can value your moment after all. You are the only judge of yourself after all.

Death lets you identify the value of life. Life is the day and death is the night, in the long run. We are just a fly in the ocean of time and you only live in the NOW, not an waking moment before, not an waking moment later. But you can create a heaven or a hell with the way you think about your moments.

A life of roaming

“I was never going to go if I was waiting for someone to come with me” – Laura.

It’s time again soon for me to plan and move to a different city and I already started fearing a new life and missing my friends. And I have been reminiscing.

Every time I move, I lose my friends and some of them are really close. It’s hard to stay away from family too sometimes. It has been taking a great toll on me losing people from life, missing people and things I once cared and still care a lot. However, life really forces you to change a lot sometimes. But with every move, there are many surprising positive things that I eventually get, for example, new friends.

Ultimately, it’s the human relationship, which linger the most, whereas, some relationships get broken with many woes. I was reading few blog posts linked below on the merits/demerits of digital nomad life and just thought about my past.

If I observe my life path, I have been a semi-nomad all my teen/adult life. This last 6 years (2014-2020) was probably the longest time I have lived in two adjacent cities for my graduate education in my ’20s, but even in this scenario, I have changed apartments/house every year. First two years (2014-2015), I frequently visited my ex girlfriend in Urbana Champaign, then (2014-2016) I lived in Lafayette, whereas since 2017 up until 2020, I lived near Purdue campus in West Lafayette. And last summer (2019 May – 2019 Aug), I lived in Silicon valley and explored the central part of the west coast in California. But when I was in Japan (2008-2014), I lived in a city at most 3 years, 1 year(2008) in Tokyo, 3 years(2009-2012) in Shikoku, (2012-2014) in Osaka, 2014 in Tokyo again. Now, even if I look further back into my life in Bangladesh, I was born in Rangpur, Bangladesh, but then my parents moved in to Ulipur, Bangladesh (~1988 – 1994 ish) where both sides of my grandparents have our country homes, then my family moved to a slightly larger northern city Rangpur (where I was born) again and I studied 10 years (1994 – 2004) for my primary and junior level schooling. After that I moved to the capital Dhaka, Bangladesh by myself leaving my parents and had my high school there from (2004-2007) and started my college in 2008 for a semester right before leaving for Japan. And of course, even in these years from 1995-2007, I changed home almost every year.

It seems to me, I have a true desire to move and roam. However, up until recently, I haven’t really realized these facts of my own life very closely. Now that I can realize, I am questioning some of the future ideas that I have. Can I ever settle somewhere, with someone? Should I ? Will I? Sometimes I feel like I am incapable of settling down as I love the idea of fluid life. But I also don’t want to have a set idea of life for mine either where everything is predictable. So, may be, it’s better to just acknowledge that I just don’t know about my future and I will never know concretely beyond just a map of ideas and dreams for an ever changing future yet to come.

Last summer I didn’t have a home and I constantly moved between airbnb, hotels, car camping. And I have been thinking whether I should go on full digital nomad mode. But as I can see there are many challenges of that. But have I ever feared challenges and risks? For me, I always craved adventures !

I believe I am not alone in this way of floating in the current of the web-like river of our lives in our society in each country on this planet in this universe. And I wish I could keep more snapshots of my life as one day it will end with all my memories inside my head.

Gosh, I have so much yet to experience and embrace! I hope not to lose track of time. And I wish I could find the less to be more.

#life #memories #travel #nomad #backpacker

https://blog.tortugabackpacks.com/realities-digital-nomad-…/
https://abackpackerstale.com/
https://piktochart.com/…/unglamorous-facts-digital-nomad-l…/

Where do you get your protein?

Where do you get your protein as a vegan/vegeterian if you are not eating meat? The most common question I get, even from my BS, BEng, PhD, MD and MBA friends who have studied books after books their entire life and knows how to google the most rare information out of internet..!!
 
Answer: We get protein from the best natural source, actually we get the protein where the cows and chickens get their protein from.
 
This is how it goes.. the flow of protein to your body.
 
Cows, chickens eat grains etc. —> Protein converts into amino acid –> Muscles are built from the amino acid in the body of the cow, chicken etc. —> You murder yourself in the name of God or whatsoever or be part of the cruel process starting from the butchershop/farms to the grocery store to acquire meat etc..!! —> You then cook and eat cow, chicken etc. or buy food in the restaurant —> You get protein.
 
Feel glad that it took these many years to know how you get your muscles and muscular energy!!!!>>>>?????
 
“In a cow’s diet, protein comes from crops like soybeans and the seed of cotton plants..”
 
Conclusion: You eat meat because you like to eat meat, you have been indoctrinated, addicted to meat. It’s deeply cultural, it’s deeply inside our habits and rituals. And it’s very hard to unhook yourself. May be you also don’t know much about nutrition. However, most vegans/vegeterians are vegans not because they care about their own health, they care not to kill something that contains life and can have an eye contact with you and feel fear and cry in pain. Yes, you are selfish when you eat meat, because you think you are at the top of the food chain, because you compare yourself with a lion or a tiger who would kill you if they would get you in the wild and so many other vague arguments without acknowledging that you are evolved to be a rational, moral human being who can criticize his or her own action if necessary. May be you haven’t thought about your own cruelty towards living beings, just like the war mongers don’t actively think about the suffering of hundreds of human beings when they shoot a bomb or launch a missile, but you are part of it everyday, but you don’t have to be. So, yes, human being are cruel, there’s a fight for dominance, you need to be strong and strong survives, but I hope we can change the world from such a scary hierarchical society to a much more co-operative society where love and compassion are harnessed. So, we are talking about change here, we are thinking about moral and ethical evolution as vegans. It’s not just about stop eating meat and end of story. Sorry, many vegans also don’t understand and vouch many non-convincing reasons. Also, importantly, just being a vegan doesn’t automatically make you a better human being, you can be shittiest person in many things that matter and you should be thinking of.
 
Anyway, You can live healthy, happy and as energetic, as mascular by not being part of killing an animal. You also don’t have to bring God again to justify your superiority.. And I do understand how much you love the taste of meat, I hope we will have to wait another 10 years to get cultured artificial meat, so that you can be satisfied.
Is cell-cultured meat ready for the mainstream?
 
What’s the function of carbohydrate, protein and fat really?
Carbs: Broken down into glucose, used to supply energy to cells. Extra is stored in the liver.
 
Protein: Broken down into amino acids, used to build muscle and to make other proteins that are essential for the body to function.
 
Fat: Broken down into fatty acids to make cell linings and hormones. Extra is stored in fat cells
 
Vitamin: Veggies etc.
 
Yes, someday, vegan food makes me feel tired. Because we consume less calory in general, which keeps our weight checked. But it mostly happens, when I am not planning my meals/foods properly, or eating unhealthy. You can eat unhealthy either as a vegan or meat-eater. I can just live on potato chips and stay vegan which is in no way healthy, just like someone can eat McDonalds burger and fast food and grizzy meat everyday. So, being vegan also forces you to think about your meal and nutrition in it.
 
It’s not radical to not kill something that feels pain. You must have to be radical to believe that vegans/vegetarians are radicals to express their concern towards our immoral acts for centuries, towards our indirect or direct cruelty possibly three times a day. We understand that forcing morality onto someone, making someone do something forcibly is also moral. So, we try to speak up with the hope that you will probably understand and one day will take that step to do the right thing and we will progress one inch to a world where there’s one more compassionate human being.
 
How to build muscles on vegan diet:
 
And yes, I am using strong words, to make you think ;), as the rap God Eminem said,
“People will hate you for speaking the truth, but you’ve gotta learn to stand up to them, so don’t be offended if I say something you don’t like.”
 
Read more:
 

No need

A tribute to this beautiful Bengali song “No need (দরকার নাই)” by NXL expressing stuffs that matter.

“No need (দরকার নাই)”
———————————————————————————-
গোল এই গ্রহটার একি হাল
(gol ei grohotar eki hal)
What a disaster in this round planet
জগাখিচুড়িরর চাল
(jogakhichurir chal)
What a nasty hodgepodge
ময়লা মেঘের পাল
(moyla megher pal)
A bunch of dirty clouds
শুকনো সময় ডাল
(shukno somoy dal)
Some dried-up time of ours
গোল এই গ্রহটার একি হাল
(gol ei grohotar eki hal)
What a disaster in this round planet
জগাখিচুড়িরর চাল
(jogakhichurir chal)
What a nasty hodgepodge
ময়লা মেঘের পাল
(moyla megher pal)
A bunch of dirty clouds
শুকনো সময় ডাল
(shukno somoy dal)
Some dried-up time of ours
নদী নালা খাল বিল
(nodi nala khal bil)
Rivers and canals
বিষে ভরা বান্ডিল
(bishe vora bandil)
Bundles of poison
উড়ছে অবাক চিল
(urche obak chil)
Surprised hawks flying
শূণ্য মাছের ঝিল
(shunno macher jhil)
Lakes empty of fish
লাগবে না তোর ইকোসিস্টেম
(lagbe na tor ecosystem)
No need of any ecosystem
নষ্ট করবো আরও দাও যত ব্লেইম
(noshto korbo aro dao joto blame)
Destory it more and more, don’t blame
আমার দরকার নাই তোর প্রকৃতির দান
(amar dorkar nai tor prokritir dan)
I don’t need any gift from nature
আমার ফরমালিন আছে নাই সম্মান
(amar formalin ache, nai shomman)
I have my formalins, no respect whatsoever
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার।
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
নাগরিক হৈ চৈ রৈ রৈ
(nagorik hoi choi roi roi)
Citizens outcrying
টাকা সব গেল কই
(taka sob gelo koi)
Where is all the money?
কালো বেড়ালের পেটে
(kalo beraler pete)
Inside the stomach of the black cat?
খৈ ফাটে টৈ টৈ
(khoi fate toi toi)
Bullshit and bullshit
হরতালে টুকিটাকি
(hortale tukitaki)
Strikes and some outcome
ককটেল ফাটাফাটি
(koktel fatafati)
Cocktail bomb blasting
গনতন্ত্রের নামে হিংস্র রাজনীতি
(gonotontrer name hingsro rajniti)
Cruel politics in the name of democracy
লাগবে না তোর নেতারূপী চোর
(lagbe na tor netarupi chor)
No need of any thief in the disguise of politician
স্বপ্ন দেখানো সব ঘুম ভাঙ্গা ভোর
(shopno dekhano sob ghum vanga vor)
Broken up of all those sleeps/hopes after dreams in the dawn
আমার দরকার নাই তোর মানবতাবোধ
(amar dorkar nai tor manobotabodh)
I don’t need any humanity
বা খুনিদের বাঁচাতে ধার্মিক ক্রোধ
(ba khunider bachate dharmik krodh)
I don’t need religious hatred to save the murderers
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার।
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
নাউ সস্তা কলরেটের নিশাচর লাভ
(nao shosta call rate er nishachor lav)
Cheap callrate, cheap nocturnal(illegal) profit
বাট রাত পোহালেই শিট পুরোটাই ব্লাফ হেই
(but rat pohalei shit purotai bluff hey)
Full of bluffs when the night is over
নাউ সস্তা কলরেটের নিশাচর লাভ
(nao shosta call rate er nishachor lav)
Cheap callrate, cheap nocturnal(illegal) profit
বাট রাত পোহালেই শিট পুরোটাই ব্লাফ
(but rat pohalei shit purotai bluff hey)
Full of bluffs when the night is over
দেখো একজোড়া জুলিয়েট তিন জোড়া রোমিও
(dekho ekjora juliet tin jora Romio)
Look, there’s a pair of Juliets and three pairs of Romio
হিসাব করিয়া নিয়া সকলেই থামিও
(hishab koriya niya shokolei thamio)
All of you! Calculate and then stop
লাগবেনা তোর সেই পুরাতন প্রেম
(lagbena tor sei puraton prem)
No need of those forgone romance
যেথা দুজনে মিলে বাঁধতো জীবনের ফ্রেম
(jetha dujone mile bandhto jiboner frame)
Where both of you would create a frame of life
আমার দরকার নাই
(amar dorkar nai)
I don’t need
আমার দরকার নাই তোর ভালবাসা
(amar dorkar nai tor valobasha)
I don’t need your love
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার।
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai amar)
No need, no need of mine
কাঁটাতারে তারে খণ্ড মাটি নিয়ে দ্বন্দ্ব
(katatare tare khondo mati niye dondo)
Division with those thorny fences and fights for boundaries of lands
উদার ধরণী তলে রক্তের গন্ধ
(udar dhoroni tole rokter gondho)
Smell the blood beneath this fertile soil
কাঁটাতারে তারে খণ্ড মাটি নিয়ে দ্বন্দ্ব
(katatare tare khondo mati niye dondo)
Division with those thorny fences and fights for boundaries of lands
উদার ধরণী তলে রক্তের গন্ধ
(udar dhoroni tole rokter gondho)
Smell the blood beneath this fertile soil
অন্যায় অবিচার ধর্ষন ব্যভিচার
(onnay obichar dhorshon bavichar)
Crime, Injustice, Rape, Adultery
বিবেক টা লকারে তালা মারা অধিকার
(bibek ta lokare tala mara odhikar)
Put your conscience in the locker and also your rights
লাগবেনা যুক্তি বা শান্তি চুক্তি
(lagbe na jukti ba shanti chukti)
No need of either logic or peace treaty
মানুষ মরুক মানুষ মরুক
(manush moruk, manush moruk)
Let the people die, let the people die
আমার মৃত্যুই মুক্তি
(amar mrittui mukti)
Death is my only freedom
আমি কি করবো জোনাকির আলোয়
(ami ki korbo jonakir aloy)
What am I gonna do in the light of those fireflies
এই আঁধারে?
(ei andhare)
In this darkness?
ক্ষীণ আলোর এ আশা আমার লাগবে না
(khino alor e asha amar lagbe na)
This fading hope of light – I don’t need at all
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai)
No need, no need of mine
আমার দরকার নাই আমার দরকার নাই আমার।
(amar dorkar nai, amar dorkar nai)
No need, no need of mine
আমার দরকার নাই
(amar dorkar nai)
I don’t need
আমার দরকার নাই
(amar dorkar nai)
I don’t need
আমার দরকার নাই।।
(amar dorkar nai)
I don’t need
Youtube:
Spotify:

I was in Love

I am little heart broken last two days. And I guess like many of you, I go back to those songs we can relate. I was watching the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”. It was enjoyable to watch, but at the same time I despised it as I read the book first. One line I love from the book that I loved seeing two characters play on the screen though. It goes like this ““Sometimes to lose balance for love, is part of living a balanced life.””

I have been trying to be productive in the morning. But then got hooked with this Japanese song.

Kagerou by One OK Rock. Yay! I can still read Kanjis… 🙂

君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ, 伝えられず僕は漂う..
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU, tsutaerarezu boku wa tadayou…)
I will float/scatter my feelings when I remember you, instead of telling
ふと気づくと僕はここに立っていた
(futo kidzuku to boku wa koko ni tatteita)
When realization hit me suddenly, I was standing here
抱くはずのない気持ちを片手に
(idaku hazu no nai kimochi wo katate ni)
Feelings, I had no intention of embracing, was in my one hand
巻き戻してみたらこの思いは見えるかな
(makimodoshite mitara kono omoi wa mieru kana?)
Could I see my affection if I tried to rewind?
早送りしたらこの感情は残るのかな
(hayaokuri shitara kono kanjou wa nokoru no kana?)
I wonder if it’ll stay if I fast-forwarded
そんなワケないって笑ってみるけど
(sonna WAKE nai tte waratte miru kedo)
“Yeah, right,” I try to say with a laugh
その笑いすらもう不自然で
(sono warai sura mou fushizen de)
But even my smile looked artificial/fake
君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU)
My feelings for you sparkle in my thoughts
まだ自分に素直になれない
(mada jibun ni sunao ni narenai)
I can’t be honest with myself yet
本当はもう気付いているのに
(hontou wa mou kidzuiteiru no ni)
Even though I’ve realized the truth
ただ言葉にできない自分がうずいているの!
(tada kotoba ni dekinai jibun ga uzuiteiru no!)
The tingling sensation in myself that can’t still express my feelings in words
意識すればするほど遠のいていく
(ishiki sureba suru hodo toonoiteiku)
I’ll fade away if I’m too aware
それが淋しいのは何でだろう?
(sore ga sabishii no wa nande darou?)
Why does that seem so lonely?
別にって態度で話流したり
(betsu ni tte taido de hanashi nagashitari)
Why do my words spilling out with a “whatever” attitude
いつもより何故か冷たくして…
(itsumo yori nazeka tsumetaku shite…)
Make them colder than usual?
君を思う気持ちはカゲロウ
(kimi wo omou kimochi wa KAGEROU)
My feelings for you float in my thoughts
まだ自分に素直になれない
(mada jibun ni sunao ni narenai)
I can’t be honest with myself yet
本当はもう気付いているのに
(hontou wa mou kidzuiteiru no ni)
Even though I’ve realized the truth
ただ言葉にできない自分がいるだけなの
(tada kotoba ni dekinai jibun ga iru dake na no!)
I’m still just here with the words I can’t get out
何気ない仕草でも目だけは君だけを追っていた
(nanigenai shigusa demo me dake wa kimi dake wo otteita)
Maybe I was nonchalant, but you’re the only one my eyes were chasing
なんて考えた時はもう好きだった 君と会うと決めた日は
どれだけ自分を隠しただろう?
(nante kangaeta toki wa mou suki datta kimi to au to kimeta hi wa dore dake jibun wo kakushita darou?
When I think about the day we met when you still liked me, how much did you hide yourself?)
嫌われるのが恐くてって考えた時には愛してた
(kirawareru no ga kowakute… tte kangaeta toki ni wa aishiteta)
When I thought how much I was scared of being hated, I knew I was in love
愛してた
I was in love
愛してた
I was in love

Source: https://sites.google.com/site/takasrock/kagerou

#NowPlaying
https://open.spotify.com/album/5vG1nA5IR7bIv9mfhjGKNd…

Diving into Walt Whitman

I enjoyed making this video. I love poetry. Hope you will enjoy my reading from “Leaves of Grass” by Walt Whitman.

I have been reading poetry under the sunlight after the first snowfall in West Lafayette. The book I am reading now is called “Leaves of Grass” by the famous poet Walt Whitman. I am reading from Autumn Rivulets in the book. The first poem is “To a Foil’d European Revolutionaire”, the second is “This Compost” and the third is the last few passages of “Song of Prudence”.

“Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.”

And I never miss the chance of using this quote of Leonard Cohen.

Programming as Art

Programming is an art too. I got inspired to write this post after watching the video of the art making process of the artist below while writing or debugging a program.

When I write a piece of code, I am creating a software. It is the creative process of building something that can be used by others or sometimes just only by you (like that mini calculator or tic tac toe or that stupid looking game) for your own hobbyist utility.

An artist starts with an idea of what she wants to paint. A programmer also always has an idea of how the end product will look like. Then they both gradually work towards it, realizing limitations, bounds in time and space. Like an artist feels his or her limitation with canvas size, availability of color, complexity of shapes; a programmer realizes the bound in memory allocation in the finite RAM of the computer, speed of the operating system, disk space complexity etc. An artist needs to wipe out many parts of the canvas many times or improvise to ultimately produce what he or she really wants to project. A programmer needs to compile and debug many parts of his initially flawed program to fix each part, solve each mini problems to ultimately produce final working version.

But for some reason, most programmers don’t call themselves artists or feel like an artist. Is it a perception problem? Programming is perceived as a boring thing. May be the reason lies in the limited visualization power a programmer often has. What I mean is that, an artist can show his or her artwork to a lay-person and more often, people will get it with or without explanation. But it probably requires a lot of education, engineering, computational skills often to understand a program. In that sense, programming may be compared with craft too. But ultimately a program can be used, just like a hand craft can be put on your table to decorate or an art piece like a painting can be hanged on the wall.

For example, I am using my keyboard to write on this text editing program of Facebook to write this post on “Programming as art”. This small piece of editing program of the entire program that represents Facebook app or website is probably managed by a group of programmers/engineers at Facebook. They have written the program so that users like me can write their thoughts, ideas and post on their news feed as efficiently as possible; they can tag their friends, thay can put their location, they can add their feelings, they can add to their story, they can customize who can see their post. There are a lot of parts of this small piece of program (in fact it’s not that small !). Facebook user like me who have experienced the evolution of this post publishing editorial program since the early age of facebook (like from 2005), knows how this program has changed over time, how it has transitioned into a master, multi-tasking programmatic art-piece.

Now I have touched into another topic of creative process: Solo vs Collab effort. Instead of giving an example of a solo programmer writing his own little program (may be like when Zuckerberg was writing his first facebook code for liking/disliking photos back in the dormitory of Harvard), I have given an example of a collaborative effort towards creating a gigantic program (which is basically what programmers at software companies do). In that sense, it’s like a big piece of sculpture or a building that artists are constructing, architects are planning and builders are setting up. I guess, the dynamics and complexity of a collaborative project is just a matter of scale. A single programmer or a solo artist doing the entire program or art, versus working in a part of a collaborative big art, programmatic, software projects.

There is a book named “The art of computer programming” by Donald Knuth (https://www.amazon.com/Art-Computer-Programming-Fascicle-Millennium-ebook/dp/B00RN14FNC).

Now in the end, what I personally think that, any human endeavor can be turned into something artistic. Like cooking, dancing, writing.

Who is an artist? Are you an artist? Is science entirely separate from art? I don’t think so. The scientific process can be artistic. Math is also regarded as art.
What makes the distinction between art and non-art? I personally need to think and explore more into this question.