I have been spending hours and hours thinking about the kind of world we live in. Most working class people didn’t even have the minimum wage to live comfortably before this Corona virus, and now with this Corona virus, people lost even those jobs. We have about 10-20 million unemployed people only in US seeing the worst after the great depression, which will essentially just lead to violence and all forms of negative events you can imagine. And all happened in 2 months. But did it really happen just in 2 months? When we talked about booming economy, where did all those booming money go really? As far as I know they didn’t go to people’s hand to support them in this worst nightmare. The same is happening in any other country. I feel sad that things will probably not change for another decade for people who really needed change. I look at the headlines after Bernie dropped out and I feel sick. Because real monsters and real selfish psychopaths run this country and the world. I feel like blaming people for being stupid and selfish, but then I realize if you raise children in bad circumstance, if you suffocate people in bad economy, bad environment, good people will turn into evil. So, who to blame really, it turns out to be those few rich powerful people, party or corporation who will not let things change for the majority of people. But may be, even they don’t know what to do, because they are just trying to keep their status quo. We live in such a hierarchical society, such a class based, status based society where our well-being are and will be constantly crashed. But as I read enough history of mankind and animal kingdom, this was always the case because the Red queen hypothesis of evolution suggest that any individual or community need to constantly adapt, change and learn to play better as they will constantly be pitted against competing individuals or species. This literally makes us just animals constantly trying to push each other and survive. I mean, as humans we will probably never understand the meaning of humanity.
Being right does not make you win. But then if you don’t win, is that a failure? I hope not. May be when you try to be right, you already sacrifice many things. Some people will die but then will never die in our memories for their selflessness. But then some people will drink your blood as long as they live and are around you and will feed off of other people’s sufferings. I don’t know what to make of the world. I guess you can still be happy inside your bubble, you can arm guard and party inside your villas, palaces letting people die outside your fences. The world does not make me feel good. But may be this is how it always was. But that’s why we dream to change. But may be that change for a good fair society I won’t be able to see in my lifetime. But I hope changes will still take place little by little. I still try to be optimistic, because otherwise there’s no meaning of living really. Hope we will learn something to make it not this much worse next time. So, my heart is heavy with aches. And these are just not feelings, these are caused by real tangible death and sufferings of millions of people.