The Mississippi call

Beside the flowing Mississippi
The sounds of cricket
The warm sunlight
My sweaty red T-shirt
The gentle soothing wind
My dirty white shoes
The “zhikzhik zhikzhik” sound of the rail truck
The hooshing sound from the passing cars
Above the bridge
The dock with empty white boats
The two speedboats
One with a girl and one with a boy
The girl jumping on the other boat and their speedy departure
The green leaves
This not so clean footpath
This big pyramidlike modern architecture on one side
And this old unmanaged bushes on the other side
The memory with my screaming with my mom in the morning
The feeling of unfulfillment in my gut
The despair and the long breathing in my heart
My unresolved love with my ex
This messy bushes reminding me the desire to live
But the constant struggle with the fear of being not enough
The simultaneous desire to live and decease
The desire to leave the ego behind
The desire to fly away from the horrors in my mind
And the cheroky Indian girl from last night
And her naked body with a pair of glasses in her shy eyes
The lonely left out bird
And the black lamppost
And the lady collecting whatsoever from the river
All the mess
And this walking
And this losing
And this desire to be loved.


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