You and I – 4

I: I am thinking about the cycle of life. Imagine a mammoth tree; it starts from a seed planted on earth; then it grows to be a small plant; it gets taller, bigger and wider; it branches out, takes more space, becomes the nest of some birds, provides the shadows to the passersby; but one day after many years it die; it can no longer maintain its life.

You: So is the life of most animals and the human too. Is it not?

I: Yeah. I just realized that a full cycle of life has its peak and its valley. Let’s say when you were born you were in a valley, then you walked, walked, walked all the way up to the peak of a mountain, then you must have to come back to the valley in the other side. What is striking me the most is that it’s not a choice to stay either on the peak or the valley of the landscape. Time is forcing you to move and there is no constancy.

You: We are just experiencers experiencing life.

I: Then why do we attach ourselves too much to anything at all? Like our parents, our house, our babies, our career, our achievements, our this, our that.

You: Because at many moment in life, you have things or relationships which are replaceable and things or relationships which are irreplaceable. You are right that we delude ourselves with many of our assumptions and false expectations. But at the same time we require a certain purpose for us to live and move on the path from the valley to the peak, to the valley again. Many actually never reach the peak, many die on the way to the valley. There is probably no one exact peak either.

I: Life is confusing to me often times. I drive myself to achieve things, to go to places, to desire. I do things to make myself happy. But there are many things that make me unhappy. There are many desires that will never be fulfilled. But if I don’t chase, I will never achieve, right? But the process of chasing is tiring and makes me unhappy. Every rejections, failures break my heart, but when I stand up again, I become stronger. But there is probably no end of this cycle. Just like the day ends with a night and a night ends with a day. Or, a night starts with the end of a day and a day starts with the end of a night. But ultimately I will die one day. So is it that ultimately I just want to remain as happy as possible most of the times. That’s the goal?

You: Well, not a bad goal. Is it?

I: There is so much imperfection in this world. Don’t you think? So much unfairness, so much dirt.

You: Yeah. I guess we are in this mess because everyone is confused. Everyone knows for a fact that he or she is alive, feels pain, doesn’t want to feel pain, wants to be happy, wants to have things, can’t have things because of others, then wants to hurt others. A whole dynamics of give and take in unfair ways. And it’s good that our society is still progressing.

I: Are we really progressing towards a better world? I was reading this book. She is a writer from the past century. But her imagination, her wording, her observation just mesmerized me. I probably have never talked with a woman in the world of today where I live who is as convincing, creative like the author I was reading. But you see.. I guess most people these days don’t read or even write. Even I waste most of my time watching rubbish movies and videos than to explore my mind through reading or writing. It seems to me that all the advent of science and technology are making ourselves duller and duller, less of a human of some sort. We are losing more than we are supposed to gain as a human being. We are experiencing way less than our mind can truly conceive.

You: May be you are right.

I: I was also thinking that the society that we live in today doesn’t really have an incentive system for doing good deeds. We have clear incentive to be successful, to be dominant, but do we really have incentive to be just good persons? I guess it’s hard to establish such. Even though I have bad relationship with religion, I guess religion tried to exactly that- forcing people to do good with the fear of hell and God- that apparently doesn’t work. But in a world of today, does anyone want to be a good person anymore? What does it even mean by goodness?

You: These are hard questions. I wish I had answers. May be nobody has.

 

You and I – 1 : https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/23/you-and-i/

You and I – 2 : https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/27/you-and-i-2/ 

You and I – 3: https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/29/you-and-i-3/ 

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The boy who harnessed the wind

This Malawi movie “The boy who harnessed the wind” blew my mind. As a scientist of the future, it’s always hard to explain in simple terms what a scientific mind does. In school, we go and learn all those physics, chemistry, math, calculus, draw all those complex looking pictures and then we forget what all these fucking science jargons are and what they are for. A lot of us even start hating science as they don’t find it relevant or their lack of understanding frightens them. And for a lot, it goes against their own agenda! But it’s all about our survival on earth and our progressive understanding of how nature works- we sometimes forget. Science provides the best evidence based tool that has transformed our society. This little boy saved the life of hundreds in his small village by creating a simple wind mill where people were dying, starving , stealing and killing each other for food. Nature didn’t pour rain upon them for years and they were not being able to grow crops. He was expelled from the school because his dad couldn’t pay for the fees. But he was running through the wind, he knew the power of the wind, he discovered how his science teacher’s bicycle has a light which is powered by the manual rotation of the bicycle wheel using a Dynamo. He then could use a fan to power a radio, he could then convince his dad to scrape their only bicycle to make a windmill that saved lives of the villagers. Social entrepreneurship. But against everybody’s will, against everybody’s judgment. He experimented in hand, he sneaked into the school library and learnt the science. In the core, he wanted to solve a problem. The problem of hunger. And it saddens me when thousands of people mindlessly cut trees, take actions for their own selfish greed and lead this and the next generation to disaster. We are seeing all with climate deniers, flat Earth believers, with the science of genetics and so many others. Most people go against something new that they haven’t seen before, they are bad at anticipating. It takes few scientific minds but I wish people were more open to simply explore the new.

Why Bitcoin gains value?

You need to know what this chart is. The supply of Bitcoin is an exponentially decreased process. Every 4 years the amount of Bitcoin generated in every 10minutes get halved. That means, with equal amount of effort, you will make twice as less Bitcoin now than you could four years ago. This is one of the fundamentals of deflationary economics or Kynesian economics which is quite the opposite of the inflationary modern economic world that we live in. It’s the chart about supply and demand. Why is Gold or any asset like a house in real estate become more valuable over time, where as on the other hand, my 2000$ 1997 Nissan Sentra is pretty much 0$ in 2019 and prolly will cost me money instead to throw it to junk yard. So, in brief, some stuff in our economy gain value, and some stuff lose value like your clothes, every electronic or home appliances you buy.. the moment you buy, you just crush its value. But things like stocks, lands, bonds can gain value.. not guaranteed, but they do based on economic dynamics. But a crucial reason behind value gains are the characteristics of rarity. If something is precious, and demanded by more people but the supply is controlled, then based on the demand, that will gain value. Now “why will demand of something rise?”- that question depends on the real world utility, innovation factor, excitement factor etc. Every time you ask this question, just simply close your eyes and realize that there were no internet, no facebook before 1990s, and why on Earth are you interested in Facebook, late alone reading this article on your favorite browser.. may be.. may be you will find your own favorite answer for such questions. However, whenever we are talking about value gains in future, there will always be “speculation” involved. But realize that you always speculate about future.. are you not speculating that tomorrow will be good? How do you know that it will be good? May be you have an exam and you know that it will be stressful. So, ultimately, you have some indicator in your mind, in the market to tell why you can speculate on something and why you can not. So, now if you can understand the principal that I am talking about and can understand the chart and if, only if, Bitcoin and other crypto currency continue to hold their promise of being the digital gold and drive the innovation for the future, you know.. how the chart will tend to look like in future. And I hope you can tip me in future for telling you now.

https://reddit.app.link/bC7ZSwZjHU

Bitcoin and a new world

I have coffee in Starbucks or Vienna everyday which cost me around 3-5$. And so do most of my friends here in US. This world has 7.8 billion people now. Out of them, about 3 billion people live below the poverty line which is around 3$. Every time I buy coffee, I never think about this. The realization that despite of all the wealth and innovation happening in this world, almost half of the population are unbanked, have no access to internet, world market, late alone credit card. I don’t envision that Bitcoin will solve the problem of poverty. But Bitcoin showed how currency can exist outside the realm of political and economic power which systemize the wealth hierarchy, define the line between poor and rich. Bitcoin has proven that a currency can be created out of the interest of people’s desire to trade between each other, definitely it happened because of the advent of computer, internet, open source software, you name it. I know it’s been speculated now as asset, get rich quick scheme (frankly I am also holding and speculating). Most general people are scared of the volatility, but I am talking about the core ideas that Satoshi Nakamoto had when he combined the idea of cryptocurrency and supply-demand economics for creating a digital currency for the world. Bitcoin movement is more than just money or a new innovation, it has the power of shifting the world. And that’s why I am a believer in a decentralized currency and frankly I don’t know how it will unravel in future and frankly nobody knows. Bitcoin will probably never be a currency, but it has shown the possibility. But it’s revolutionary to think that, every region in the world in future will have their own local cryptocurrency, born outside of politics and manipulation and the unbanked of the world have access to the economy. Well, there will always probably be politics, greed, manipulation; after all, we are sometimes just bunch of animals trying to beat each other for our own gains!! lol.. but I am looking at the big picture. I don’t envision a utopia but definitely I can see a better world. Also do you know what’s happening in Venezuela, everybody in Venezuela is buying Bitcoin because of the corruption of the government and the inflation. The problem is that it’s not that government is bad, ultimately we the people put officials there. It’s just that power and institutionalization corrupts mind and stagnates. We need a balance of the both, we need education, we need democracy, we need distribution of wealth and power. And as everyone says, it always depends on “Where is the money?” And Bitcoin showed but may be will be proven indirectly by many crypto currency movements over the future years, that money can exist outside of what we used to call money. And it’s mind boggling but we are living through the history that the future will talk about.
The political implications of bitcoin

You and I – 3

You and I – 1 : https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/23/you-and-i/

You and I – 2 : https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/27/you-and-i-2/ 

I: Have you ever lied to me?

You: I think so. But I think some lies might have been necessary.

I: Maybe. But when I know I was lied to, I feel differently towards those words I were told.

You: Well, feelings are weird creatures within. Aren’t they? How much do you think you understand how you feel. Rationale, on the other hand, gives you a way of reviewing them. If you see the utility of those lies, you might forgive me. Not that I care.

I: So, you are saying I needed to be in the delusion that very moment. Because you presupposed that I can’t handle the truth. That’s too much of an arrogance I would say.

You: You caught the asshole. But again I did it for what I felt right to do at that moment.

I: Well, acknowledge that you may have done a big mistake with your rational thoughts, your bag of ill-conceived ideas of me and my abilities.

You: I will have to think. Just calm down.

I: Okay. How do you stop craving something?

You: Depends on what you crave I guess. What do you crave?

I: I crave to recreate one memory. It’s this one time – I was with the girl I loved. It was in her apartment. She just came on top of me. I undressed her on the top and I kissed her breasts and she was holding my head. She was full of pleasure but she was calm like she was wanting it more and more. I have been with other girls after that, even probably tried to recreate with my feelings of guilt. But I no longer could, I never could feel the same way. I felt like I need her to recreate it, but I know it’s not possible. Maybe even with her. It’s probably will never be possible again. But I can’t stop craving. And every time I fail to recreate, I feel miserable.

You: It’s a memory you hold very dear to yourself. You know that you can’t recreate it so you will have to compartmentalize it. Somehow.. you will have to do it. Cravings are good. Just don’t let them kill you. You have seen the movie inception, right? Leonardo De Caprio’s wife Mal haunts him in his dreams. She is in his subconscious and he gets back to her through the elevator where she resides. Maybe because he can’t forgive himself. Nor is he willing to let the memories evaporate. He confines her, thus he gets himself confined even more ruthlessly. Do you think you might be doing the same?

I: Not intentionally as far as I can say. I started to realize that my desires are my enemies.

You: Because you can’t befriend them for some reasons. But that’s dreadful. You will have to be friends with them.

I: I see the futility in the harmony that you are asking me to have. Maybe I love chaos. Maybe that’s where I thrive.

You: It’s a choice ultimately. That’s just what I want you to know.

(to be continued ..)

You and I – 2

You and I – 1 : https://experienceandembrace.wordpress.com/2019/01/23/you-and-i/

I: It’s snowing outside.

You: Yeah, it’s beautiful how everything is covered.

I: What do you think about “Deja Vu”?

You: Like you feel that it happened before?

I: Yeah, it’s been happening to me quite a lot. And it makes me feel bored.

You: But, does that matter though? What’s wrong with experiencing it again? Is the desire to constantly be in a new situation the best for our psyche?

I: I don’t know. That’s what everybody is up to. Isn’t it? New is exciting- they say.

You: That’s the problem I think. If you can’t perceive every moment as new, rather always perceive it as a reincarnated old, then you are just living inside your mind too much, circling and ultimately destined to diminish into a point of meaninglessness.

I: You are right. Every moment is a new one. It’s a perception issue, but the issue is real. The boredom is inevitably there to drown.

You: Well, then you recognized it.

I: But it doesn’t help though.

You: Maybe it will. Hope is necessary.

I: You want to play with snow?

You: Sure. As you know, you will really be playing with yourself.

I: I have seen some beautiful pictures of places. I really want to go visit them when I can.

You: Nice. What kind?

I: Mostly beautiful natural places. Most of the time there are some beautiful people waving or walking or doing something. It’s just refreshing to see. I guess it will be great to be there for real breathing the air near the ocean, over the mountain, through the valley, highways.

You: Yeah, escaping creates the euphoria. Maybe for good.

I: I know.

You: You remember that you wanted to know about love?

I: Yes. What about it?

You: Do you think there’s an ocean of love or a sky of love?

I: I will choose air over water. Just a preference. I don’t know how to swim.

You: You don’t know how to fly either. At least you can learn to swim.

I: You see, you are too pragmatic. In my imagination, I want to fly. I don’t crave to dive into the water.

You: Right you are! You want things that you can not have. Just saying..

I: Good. Now I am pissed.

You: Haha. Like you always are.

(to be continued ..)

You and I

I: I like that you like to live in the moment.

You: We are always living in a moment. What do you mean? You think you are not living in the moment?

I: True. But what I mean is that if I am doing things now for something that I expect to happen in a future moment, am I living in the moment? I am bit confused.

You: Of course you are still living in the moment. But you probably don’t feel like living in the moment.

I: But if I am not feeling to be living in the moment, am I truly living in the moment? Isn’t there a distinction between fact and fiction? Or is it that everything is fiction?

You: It can be that everything is a fiction.

I: No, our reality, the world outside us might not be a fiction. Pain might not be a fiction. Death might not be a fiction. I am not sure about pleasure though. Pleasures can be fictitious. I don’t know.. You seem to be living in the moment whereas I can’t really claim it like that. Or I should say I don’t feel to claim it like that. I tend to feel that I know what is ahead of me. At least I can have a good prediction of that based on my prior experience. But I am relying on my thinking mind and my collected knowledge and my instinct.

You: But don’t you ever wonder to start your day like you are a newborn baby?

I: I actually do.

You: Have you asked yourself why you have that desire to be reborn? Is it because you are burdened with your past?

I: It can be. But I’d say it’s not as simple as that.

You: I saw an episode of Black Mirror the other day. One thing kind of struck me. They were saying that memory is a way to trigger you to get back to your past to change your path. I have never thought it that way?

I: In a way it’s true. Especially if you are taking an action based on your memory. Isn’t it?

(to be continued ..)

Some thoughts on the inequality of Bitcoin ownership

Even if I am a proponent of Bitcoin, this bothers me. When Satoshi Nakamoto envisioned bitcoin as a payment protocol for everyone, one computer one vote, he was definitely unable to see how capitalism and the already accumulated money will also accumulate Bitcoin. I personally don’t identify myself as a capitalist, I actually dislike capitalism on many grounds, but at the same time, I know why and how it works, it’s not that there are many alternatives in the world. I understand Marxist, communist and socialist ideas but I fail to see how it can propel creativity and drive to move forward and change. It’s like a tradeoff and that’s why I probably like social democracy where they envision a balance of both. But with imperfection. Money is power and powerful always concentrate power and money for their own gains. Equal opportunity ought to be established but equal outcome we can never guarantee. The tension is always there. The concentration of Bitcoin in few places or few hands or few organizations go against the spirit of Bitcoin, as by protocol it is decentralized. But the fact is it is centralized in the big hands and this is the only reason I have against Bitcoin. And maybe that’s why I don’t believe completely that Bitcoin will be a currency for the future. I view it as a digital asset like digital gold which will be used as a store of value. But Bitcoin has shown us how money or value system or payment system can be created without a central money-making machine. I do believe that Bitcoin is better than government currency. I am against the spirit of nationalism and I think the national borders won’t make sense after few millennia and we will appreciate a global currency like Bitcoin. So, ultimately I want to say, Bitcoin will be there. But probably there will be a better currency which can surpass Bitcoin and which will probably not centralized. But then again that is Marxist, libertarian or anarchyst part of my brain talking. As I can see how capitalism is reigning in our world by the power, for the power, with the powerful, who knows Bitcoin might be the winner. Anyway, just some thoughts. I am not an astrologer who predicts future. I speculate and I miss.
 
The ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin also doesn’t believe in proof of work anymore. So, there are smart people who are already thinking about better solution already. That’s always our best bet for survival. Isn’t it? We need an einstein, we need a Nicola Tesla, we need few scientists, we need probably a work and innovation machine like Elon musk as most of us are just fooling around. Well, it’s too much for one little brain sometimes.
 
 

All you need is to just live

Every waking moment, we are experiencing. It is so obvious but it still takes a little stepping back to recognize. When I am conscious, my consciousness is filled with thoughts of various colors. We are all so colorful inside if we can assign a different color to each of the different emotion that we experience. We don’t feel the same way and that’s what makes the difference; because each of us had different experiences through our senses in a unique path in the environment. It’s like different colored, different sized bubbles in an open shared space. Each of us is like a bubble that expands, that pops. Bubbles collide with each other, merge, crash. It’s constantly changing. As long as the mind is active, it continues to interpret in its own way. In the physical world, we need a few requirements to survive. But on top of our physical reality, we created the emotional reality that we don’t really understand properly. All the accumulated genetic, environmental memories imprinted in our bodies and minds may be a little too much to grasp all at once. But ultimately all of it make who I am, who you are, who they are. It doesn’t require to understand every single thing to live, just like it doesn’t require to notice every single object on a road to navigate through the road. There are no ends of knowing. So, the quest of knowing ultimately becomes narrow based on what you are seeking for.

I just realize every day how integral love is to our existence. This intense emotion that we receive the moment we are born from our mother, we never stop seeking it. Of course in our own way, we have our own understanding of what love means to us. You probably have all heard about Freud. Basically, all he is saying is that the portion of our conscious mind that we are in control of or we think we control is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a huge hidden body under the surface of the water that is invisible. The unconscious mind is that huge hidden body that constructs the emotional network inside us, that in turn make us feel in a certain way in a certain moment and make us do actions. Because it is quite unfathomable, we remain a mystery to our own selves. And I guess we would probably not enjoy knowing everything either. But the seeking to dig deeper, get wetter with our emotional fuel should be welcomed.

Desire. The desire to be loved, desire to be seen, desire to be respected, desire to be visible, the constant changes in our desires. Where do all these desires come from? Sometimes I ask whether I can live without desires. Maybe I could if I didn’t have a physical body which wants food, sex, cravings to be touched, longings to be exhibited in a preferential way. Who am I talking to right now? Is there a listener within me that I am talking to, is there a reader within me I am writing to? I recognize all these entities need not be isolated. Maybe they are all one constructing the self that I can recognize and call “me”. Or maybe not as I can’t really explain all the unconscious processes inside me.

My problems are very simple to understand. I need food, I need sex, I need love. And that’s why I work. But I am uncomfortable when I don’t get them the way I want. But it’s so easy to see why I can never get them the way I want. And when I realize that my problems vanish. But sometimes I am just blind, and sometimes I am just stubborn and try not to see.

About 30 years. So many days I have lived. Why does it need to be so complex to live the next day? It’s not that different after all. It is just not complex at all. All you need is to just live.0001464_just-live

Which investment app to use?

Some of my friends ask me about investments in crypto space. You should already realize that Bitcoin/Crypto are high risk investments. So, you should be ready to lose money or be patient. If you are new into investment and want a much safer place to invest. My favorite apps are stash, robinhood and acorns. Each has its own advantage. Stash also has a very vibrant community that you can follow.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/StashInvestors/

There’s a nice comparison in this video: